Linoleum by NOFX
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Author Archives: Phil
A mystical, ancient dagger causes a notorious serial killer to magically switch bodies with a 17-year-old girl.
Based strictly on how much I went “ewww” and laughed out loud, this must be one of the best horror comedies I have seen.
★★★
A U.S. Army Captain uses her years of tactical training to save humanity from sixteen nuclear missiles launched at the U.S. as a violent attack threatens her remote missile interceptor station.
A three star film with a two star budget; everything wrong with this, from the skeleton rig crew to the supporting cast, could be fixed with more money.
Elsa is ace. I wish I had guns like that 💪
★★★
Harry, Ron and Hermione continue their quest to vanquish the evil Voldemort once and for all. Just as things begin to look hopeless for the young wizards, Harry discovers a trio of magical objects that endow him with powers to rival Voldemort's formidable skills.
Apart from the toe-curlingly twee finale, this is, appropriately, relentlessly bleak and brutal.
Watching the latter films has been tough on my 8-y/o, she’s still firmly in the “chocolate frogs” demographic.
Still, for an 8 film series, it finishes pretty strongly.
★★★★
The story of the conception of a new British weapon for smashing the German dams in the Ruhr industrial complex and the execution of the raid by 617 Squadron 'The Dam Busters'.
The true story of Joe Simpson and Simon Yates' disastrous and nearly-fatal mountain climb of 6,344m Siula Grande in the Cordillera Huayhuash in the Peruvian Andes in 1985.
“Sorry we arrested you for doing nothing. We were trying to arrest the other people doing nothing and got confused.” Hardly surprising… Maybe just arrest everyone? Just to be on the safe side. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/12/police-apologise-after-detaining-royal-superfan-for-13-hours-coronation-just-stop-oil
In 1993, the Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence Project receives a transmission detailing an alien DNA structure, along with instructions on how to splice it with human DNA. The result is Sil, a sensual but deadly creature who can change from a beautiful woman to an armour-plated killing machine in the blink of an eye.
I feel like this belongs in the 90s movie time capsule.
Could have been better. The end is pretty poor and just evokes Aliens on a much smaller budget. I like the central idea, though.
★★★
Screeching Weasel · Song · 1991
I Can See Clearly by Screeching Weasel
A psychotic man, troubled by his childhood abuse, loose in NYC, kills young women and takes their scalps as trophies. Will he find the perfect woman in photographer Anna, and end his killing spree?
Well, that was deeply unsettling. Who sits down and decides to make a film like that?
★★★★