Watched Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009) by an author from letterboxd.com
A prequel to the first two Underworld films, this fantasy explains the origins of the feud between the Vampires and the Lycans. Aided by his secret love, Sonja, courageous Lucian leads the Lycans in battle against brutal Vampire king Viktor. Determined to break the king's enslavement of his people, Lucian faces off against the Death Dealer army in a bid for Lycan independence.

This is an exceptionally odd film. I probably let the gap between watching part 2 and this, part 3, get a little large but that wasn’t the end of the world. As I recall, I think this basically fleshed out the big reveals from the end of part 2?

And it’s weird because, in a franchise where previously a big draw was Kate Beckinsale in very tight leather/pvc, this is really a Romeo and Juliet tale of forbidden love. But with vampires and werewolves. The vampires aren’t even all that vampiric.

And it does it competently. I’m not sure there is much more to say than that. It’s a solid three stars across the board. I don’t think it’s fair to say a film is bad because it lacks any real ambition. If you have any investment in the “universe” I think it’s worth the admission fee. It cost $35m and made $91m at the box office, so plenty of others agreed.

★★★

My review

If I was to start a movie podcast I think it’d be called “In Defence of Average”, in which I talk about genre films that are in no way bad, were successful at the box office, yet are generally derided.

You know, when you unsubscribe and tick “Did not sign up”, we can check. You know that, right? We can see when you signed up, how and which emails you opened. Yeah, sounds a bit creepy but, still, there it is.

It’s clearly not a business plan. I know people won’t make a Twitter account so they can see that funny video in that tweet… so I just find it on YouTube…

And I just screenshot posts…

I feel like the UK government will wake up to the risks of AI-generated content at about the same time a “deep-fake” of Rishi Sunak declaring war on Russia goes viral. These new technologies improve exponentially fast. We could be looking at “perfect” quality by the end of 2024.

Watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) by an author from letterboxd.com
Set during the Cold War, the Soviets – led by sword-wielding Irina Spalko – are in search of a crystal skull which has supernatural powers related to a mystical Lost City of Gold. After being captured and then escaping from them, Indy is coerced to head to Peru at the behest of a young man whose friend – and Indy's colleague – Professor Oxley has been captured for his knowledge of the skull's whereabouts.

I really wanted to give this a fair shot but it speaks volumes that the best parts of this film are those without the action/adventure in them.

Nothing emphasises this more than John Williams score, which appears to have been written for something MUCH more exciting than we’re seeing on the screen.

I’m sure there are those that don’t like this because they somehow overlooked the paranormal elements of the original triology but I actually quite like that part.

It’s very disappointing.

★★

My review

My kids have entered the stage of enjoying YouTube content consisting of grown men getting over excited and shouting about entirely ephemeral events/occurances.

Watched The Old Guard (2020) by an author from letterboxd.com
Four undying warriors who've secretly protected humanity for centuries become targeted for their mysterious powers just as they discover a new immortal.

Still think it needed more swords and axes but I’m adding a half a star for the scene in which Booker explains to Nile what continuing to see her family will mean. Matthias Schoenaerts really makes you feel it.

★★★½

My review