I’m a pretty big fan of Jurassic Park movies. At least as far as “man meets dinosaur” movies go.

But, as someone who actually read the original novel, something has bothered me from day one. The matter of small arms. No, not on the T-Rex. I mean the distinct lack of big guns. Let me get this off my chest…

In the first movie, the game warden Muldoon, rocks about with a shotgun. Just a shotgun. We later see this is loaded with shot rather then slugs when Grant shoots at the raptors in the control room. This might be adequate for anything up to a really big dog at short range. Problem is, for most of the smaller, dangerous dinos, short range is way too late. The larger dinos… might as well be throwing rocks.

In the first book, Muldoon at least insists on a rocket launcher, which proves to be highly effective (Muldoon survives). We also learn that Hammond has, naturally, effectively banned weapons on the island. At least the book features the right tools for the job. Sadly, this is never picked up in the movies.

Fast forward to Jurassic World and the “Asset Containment Unit” is running around with mostly non-lethal weapons you wouldn’t even try on a polar bear. Again, one has a shotgun. They do have a minigun, which would probably be highly effective with clear line of sight and a fortified position, but instead they put it on a helicopter and fly over a jungle with thick canopy. Derp.

Even the various groups of poachers and mercenaries show up with an assortment of assault rifles and shotguns. Except for two guys. Roland, the big game hunter in The Lost World. He’s got an elephant gun. Big tick. The other is a guy you’d barely remember from Jurassic Park 3, who has a Barrett .50 caliber rifle.

This seems much more like it to me, although I am no firearms expert. While it doesn’t do JP3 guy much good (he is wandering around the jungle with it), .50 caliber weapons are surely the way to go. A lot of watchtowers with rifle-armed guards, a few discretely hidden fixed heavy machine gun emplacements and a few of the same mounted on vehicles. I feel like that meets the minimum for worst case scenario. Hell, if I had the choice, there’d be armoured vehicles and I’d have the Costa Rican airforce on speed dial.

However, I get that the core theme of the franchise is human-kind’s hubris and not having the proper equipment is a big part of that. It still bugs me, though, in a “why didn’t the eagles just fly them there” kind of a way, you know?